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Adrian C. Collins

inspirational author

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I’m a wife and mother of 5 (1 girl + 4 boys=joyful chaos). As a birth mom and adoptive mom, I write and speak about the complexities of adoption and making peace with choices that bring heartache. I am both brave and blemished, learning to accept my imperfections and live each day to the fullest! I love to read and travel and drink coffee. I’d love to get to know you!

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“If we weren’t ever shattered we’d never kno “If we weren’t ever shattered we’d never know the glorious touch of the Potter making something glorious out of dust, out of us.” Lysa Terkeutst
❤️
Leaning into the Potter’s hands today. ❤️❤️
#thepotter #godsplan #grace #glorious #creatingsomethingbeautiful #adoption #birthmom #adoptivemom #hopefuladoptivemom #parenting #marriage #writer #speaker #godstruth
"Yet when my world feels like it's crumbling, I ho "Yet when my world feels like it's crumbling, I hold onto this one truth: God is faithful. He doesn't give up on me. So...I won't give up either. And you, dear friend, can hold onto God's faithfulness when you are feeling weary, downcast, and overwhelmed. With God by our side, we can do hard things. We can be a "steadfast-kind-of-gal."
💛
Thank you @forthemamaheart for sharing my story on remaining steadfast in all circumstances! See link in bio for full story.
#steadfast #godisfaithful #strength #notgivingup #adoption #adoptionjourney #birthmom #birthparents #adoptivemom #adoptivefamily #hopefuladoptivemom #hopefulexpectantparents #postplacement #marriage #writer #speaker
I can't remember the number of times that I've tol I can't remember the number of times that I've told myself that "I can't do this anymore." Or that "I'm not capable.” Or "This is too hard." 
🤎

I wonder how much more I can juggle before it all comes crashing to the ground. If life is a giant balancing act, then I'm in need of a new scale. 
🤎

Maybe life isn't a balancing act at all--maybe it's a collection of ebbs and flows. 

Maybe the lessons don't reside in what burdens we carry---but how we pick ourselves up over and over again. 

Maybe I'll cling to grace and hope and let guilt and shame fall to the wayside. 

Maybe every difficult season is an opportunity to emerge in a new light with a new perspective.
🤎

Maybe growth takes place in the waiting.

Maybe, just maybe, I can do hard things after all. 🤎
#dohardthings #grace #hope #adoption #birthparents #adoptivemom #adoptivefamily #newbeginnings #hopefuladoptiveparent #hopefuladoptivemom #adoptionjourney #waiting #writer #speaker
When someone asks me to share my faith testimony, When someone asks me to share my faith testimony, I cringe. Really. It’s a source of panic and anxiety. How can I present a story polished and packaged complete with a tidy bow when that’s simply not the case? 
🤎

My story is still in the process of being wrapped together, held together by fragile strings of faith and endurance. The lessons I learn today are still shaping me for tomorrow. 
🤎

We need to be careful when asking to hear someone’s “testimony” on how they found Jesus and when their life changed forever. I still find Jesus everyday, in the highest of peaks and the lowest of valleys. My life looks less like a steady climb to the mountain top and more like clinging to a lifeline in a stormy sea. 
🤎

But it’s here…in the raging waves…that I feel more human. It’s in the ups and downs of life that I finally understand grace and compassion and forgiveness. 

There isn’t a one and done testimony. Conversion is an exercise of turning around…over and over again. Today’s testimony might look different five years from today. 
🤎

So, I can only give my testimony-in-progress. I can answer the questions: “What are you learning about yourself? What is God teaching you in this moment? Am I embracing His love for me or wallowing in guilt and shame? In what areas do I need to turn around?” That’s our walking testimony. 🤎
#testimony #faith #faithoverfear #learnbyliving #growth #adoption #adoptionjourney #birthparents #birthmom #adoptivefamily #adoptiveparents #writer #speaker
A door of distraction... 🤎 When I left the hosp A door of distraction...
🤎
When I left the hospital without my daughter I shattered. I no longer resembled the person I once knew. A hole was permanently carved in my heart and a seed of bitterness was planted there. Only, I didn’t recognize it at first. 

I forged ahead, thinking that if I ignored the grief for long enough, if I just focused my attention elsewhere, the grief would eventually dissipate.

I willed myself to move forward, opening one door after another to see if something behind it might fill the emptiness. 

I entered into marriage, a new job, a new family, a new move and more, hoping I could escape the loss and heartache of my past. I didn’t. I couldn’t. 

Over the years, the seed of bitterness grew into anger and resentment that ran rampant in my heart, mind and soul. It seemed that I was angry at everyone. My husband and birthfather to our daughter. My community. My family. My Faith. God. But mostly, Myself. 

The remnants of trauma will always find their way to the surface when deep hurt and pain are rooted inside. It’s true about the phrase, “Hurt people…hurt people.” 

Looking back, I wished I’d had the courage to ask for help. To seek guidance from a skilled professional. To understand why I felt the need to disguise pain. To stop opening doors of distraction. To stop numbing. To find healing from my past. 
🤎
Therapy is more than repeating a phrase or memorizing a number of Bible verses. It’s hard work. It’s removing the scars and facing what’s underneath. It’s bearing your soul. It’s forgiving yourself and others. It’s acceptance and self-love. It’s starting over…and giving yourself grace...again and again. 🤎
#birthparents #birthmom #distraction #adoption #adoptivemom #adoptivefamily #adoptiontrauma #adoptiondepression #healing #healingjourney #hopefuladoptivemom #writer #speaker
Adoption was never part of any life plan. As a chi Adoption was never part of any life plan. As a child, I didn't dream about becoming a birth mom. I didn't imagine myself as an adoptive mom. Yet, adoption stumbled into my life. 
❤️

Over the years--through heartache, forgiveness and self-compassion--I've learned to embrace adoption as a beautiful part of my life. 
❤️

Sometimes our most thought-out plans can be tailored to something greater than we ever imagined....
❤️

Thank you @joinbravelove for sharing my story as a birth mom and adoptive mom! Please click on link in bio for complete story. 
#birthmom #bravelove #birthparents #adoptivefamily #adoptivemom #adoptiveparents #adoptionstory #adoptionjourney #postplacement #adoptionawareness #selfcompassion #hopefuladoptivefamilies #writer #speaker
“When our birth mom placed her infant son into m “When our birth mom placed her infant son into my arms at the hospital, I expected to receive feelings of elation and calm and peace. I expected to cry tears of joy. But it didn’t happen that way. Instead, I was flooded with feelings of panic. An overwhelming sense of fear and doubt permeated my thoughts. 

I remember thinking that I’m the wrong person for this task. The immediate question that followed was: What the heck did I just do? 

But I disguised these feelings, lest I place fear in the heart of our son’s birth mom that she’d made a poor choice in selecting me as her son’s adoptive mom. I wasn’t about to disappoint her and cause more pain. After all, she was going through enough heart ache. So, I wore a fake smile at the hospital, thinking that once I returned home, all would be okay. My fears would melt away. My feelings of panic would disappear. 

They didn’t...”
🤎
Thank you @raiseparentmag for sharing article (click on link in bio fit full article). Such a delicate and important topic for adoptive parents to discuss! If you suffer from post-adoption depression, you are not alone. 🤎
#adoption #postadoptiondepression #postadoptionsupport #postadoption #birthparents #adoptivefamily #adoptionencouragement #healing #adoptionhealing #adoptiongrief #depression #adoptionawareness #writer #speaker

“Maybe there was no happily ever after […] but there was happiness sometimes and she had it now, doing what she knew she was born for.”
— Jeanne DuPrau

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